Last night we made Nino's day. We took the train (two stops and 11 minutes) to dinner in Ipswich. Wonderful greek food, took the train back home. He was telling our waiter, the host, the water girl, everyone about the train. I love doing things for him that he loves.

This weekend, we saw the seals at the beach. It's sort of an "around Christmas" tradition. They winter in the (relatively) warm water nearby. Maybe not the best time to see them is the morning after you watch "March of the Penguins", but we still saw them as cute. Very fun and frolicking. It was raining, but Nino still wanted to be in the sand with his trucks.

And the little girl is so happy. I love that now she can be awake and fun and not just wanting boob or diaper or rocking. Although she still wants that a lot.

New babies are the best, aren't they? Her first and my older son are just a week apart, and she just had a daughter last night. I'm over the moon for them. Welcome to the world, Anna Jane!

I can't believe it's been three years!

The girl is up to 11.5 lb on momma milk alone. So happy. She got four shots yesterday though, poor bub. She was mad or sleeping all day. I'm not ready for her to get whooping cough though so there we go.

Tomorrow we have two birthday parties for the big boy. Hard to believe he'll be three Saturday. We've got our playgroup with cupcakes in the morning, and dinner and orange cake in the evening with family. It's not too late to be deciding on a menu tomorrow right?

I'm loving this. I think Massi will get it since she'll hardly get any new toys of her own.

Pretty sure I'm done shopping. I bought some stuff online, but one of them says I'll have it by the 3rd of January. I sure hope it's like a week sooner. More than that. Sigh.

Nino has an imaginary friend, JoJo. I love it. We do lots of things for JoJo. The hardest is opening the door to let him in in a blizzard, but I'd want to be let in too.

And the downstairs is done. Every room now just has one single purpose. We can now watch movies at night and not wake the boy. I'm beyond excited.

New favorite mall. This from not a mall person. Said mall has a) fewer stores b) good santa (too late for us this year) with no line c) indoor toddler play area that rules, is clean, and free and d) torrid. I didn't get to enjoy that last as children were melting down before my eyes, but I had no idea. And close. If we move, it will certainly be the closest mall.

I'm so in denial about christmas. I've bought like 30% of my gifts, if that. I'm hoping I can do a lot more online. What does one get for a fifteen year old boy anyway?

I'm dying here. So Nino has the fisher price little people nativity.

And he is playing with baby Jesus, Married, and all of his other little people (the tow truck driver, the construction worker) as well as them. Apparently the wise men need help getting their gifts to the baby Jesus, and the animals don't feel like walking, etc. It's hysterical.

I'm also totally bummed since I ordered some stuff on November 28 that's not here yet, and probably won't be before Ethan's birthday on Saturday. Darn super saver shipping.

At least I'm still really excited about the photo session with the 3 cousins. Cute sweaters, coupon, good frames. Can't go wrong.

Today we saw Santa. Overall it was good, although Santa was feeding his reindeer when we arrived, so we had to blow some time. Lunch, a carousel ride, and jcrew later, we saw him. Girl wasn't at all fazed by being held by strange bearded man. Thank you, daddy, for getting her used to facial hair.

On the way home I call my mom and say "now I've started shopping". She says "started?!" A. It's the FOURTH not the TWENTY FOURTH and B. I have an infant and toddler. She's lucky I didn't do online with overnight delivery.

Good weekend. We went to the Santa parade, went to the local toy store where Nino found the yellow truck that he has repeatedly asked Santa for (thank god it's close and cheap), and saw the UNH ladies beat UMass's. Super fun, going with Ethan and his Momma to see his Mommy coach. G still calls her Ethan's daddy.

Anyway, here we are.

Just look at her. Sigh.

I'm a bit cabin feverish. I mean I get out every day, but oftentimes the only adult I talk to is my husband, or my mom on the phone. And now that it's getting too cold for the park, I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do. I guess I have to start showing up to the NS and Nino meetups. Or start eating lunch at places like Brujitos.

Also, because it's just as easy to have it here and edit it, I'm going to make my christmas lists here.

G-man:
March of the Penguins
Hess Truck

Massi:
Play gym

Myself:
A big bag that is more a purse than a diaper bag, with shoulder straps
Neil Diamond's 12 songs. :uh

Family:
Target chairs. On sale this week. Must buy 2.

Today I got something awesome to be thankful for. The little girl gave the cutest little chuckle. Yes, she was asleep, but in my arms, she gave a big grin and then . . "huh heh huh". Oh man. :adore

Tomorrow I have to go shopping for some fleece, so I might hit a store or two also. Depending on how I feel about it all.

It was a lovely turkey day, with the beautiful, well behaved children, and me getting some quality free lap and arm time, what with all the relatives. We made the call not to trek to Auntie's house, as it was snowing, and wouldn't you know that it stopped just before we sat down. I have leftovers galore.

We're trying to stay up to watch Nemo, but I'd like to be in bed before it even begins (8:30). I hope Nino falls asleep early. Massi is already asleep on me right now. And now my husband of all people is shopping. He and his brothers (all of them) went to Freeport. 24/7/365. Good for them. Last time I got a new vest out of the deal. :D

My son cracks me up. We're working on letters, he's really curious about how one reads. So he wrote a G on his turkey as seen here:



Then he says "G P S dot com - that's me!" I don't know what this means, but he knows he starts with G, and somehow this phrase flows. I crack up every time.

Anyway, happy turkey day.

So big!



Thanksgiving has been moved to nearby. It's supposed to snow up to 4". I'm not packing my babies and driving 90 miles. Sorry Auntie.

Possibly hosting here, which I'm kind of happy about. I can make a turkey and set out plates, if everyone brings a side or dessert. It could be fun. And having the kids in their own home is priceless.

A teething five week old sucks. That left tooth is a white straight line and I can imagine it just kills. It is starting to have that sandpapery feel, so I'm hoping the anguish for the girl is nearly over. She's so little she doesn't even know why she's miserable. And up till this week she was such a happy girl all the time that's the only thing I can think of. Sigh.

I can't believe it's thanksgiving already. I'm becoming a bit worried about the 3 hours of travel on the big day with the new girl, but she's so mellow (when not teething) that I don't see a huge issue. Fingers crossed.

This article had me in tears this morning.

And the girl rolled tummy to back for my dad today. Hooray - witnesses!

So it seems that Nino has outgrown his carseat. I'm kind of a nut about these things and research the heck out of them. But really, this time, I've decided that regulations wouldn't allow an unsafe seat on the market, and I'll get a brand that I know, and have him test-sit them. Especially since I need two or more of them. At least now I know that the seats he's currently in will be available when little girl needs them. Additionally, we're about to get the double stroller. Very excited. Can't wait to go for a long walk where Nino isn't on his own power.

Not sure why, but I've been craving hot dogs lately. Like I can't crave something that's actually found in nature. Ah well, of to nuke one. At least if I'm having something artificial, I can artificially prepare it as well.

Isn't it amazing how we're pregnant, and we say "it doesn't matter, so long as s/he's healthy" but then even if they aren't, it doesn't matter. The second they are born we'd do anything for them. Heck even before that.

Happy one year post surgery Dillon!

Let's see. Lunch with B Friday was fun. Boy was a ball of fire, but it was okay - it was TGIFridays. Anything goes. And cousin and auntie were in town for the weekend. That was super fun. To see Fia a toddler and Massi the baby, and Nino the big boy . . .

Today she is a month old. I can't believe it, but looking at the hospital photos, she sure is bigger. Chubbier and all. Up to 9 lb 4 oz. Just one shot today. Next time will be the big bad appointment with lots of shots. And she's getting such hair. I hope it all hangs around.

Today I also made mini-shannon, who with her sling will head out tomorrow. And at some point, soon, I'm going to the new Ikea. Maybe thursday. I want to get the little gym for the girl.

Here she is snoozing in brother's bed today:

Today is a very exciting day. First and foremost, Amanda meets her daughter. She's in China as I type. Actually, with time differences, she has her in arms by now. *sniff*

Secondly, it's election day. While it would be nice for Tom to win, no matter what, campaigning is over. I get my husband back. If Tom doesn't win, though, it might start the great house hunt to leave town. I really don't want that.

I just put away my maternity clothes. I will use them again, so no ebay for us, but I did manage to pare out about a dozen things for salvation army. There are only so many pair of black stretchy pants a pregnant woman needs. And really, if I didn't wear that melon colored shirt this entire pregnancy, the odds I'll wear it next time are super slim.

We've discovered the wrap love. Best $5 and 20 minutes spent.

Today after coming out of the shower, I decided to try to see if my hair is long enough to put up. Yes it is, for those who are wondering.

However, Nino was unsure. Giddy smile, he says "Momma, what you did with yours hair?" and then said "don't do that again, momma".

Omigod I died.

Last night my daughter, not quite 3 weeks old, rolled from her tummy to her back. So I put her back there, thinking "no way man". But yes way. She did it again. She generally doesn't hate her tummy the way her brother did, but I think with this cold she's miserable. Speaking of, I have some breastmilk in a dropper waiting for her to wake up so I can squirt it up her nose. Good times.

And she had her hip ultrasound this morning. Because she was delivered breech, they want to make sure. She was fine with it all. The doc was so cool - "if you need to feed her, go ahead". They would have scanned her hips in my lap while she suckled. She didn't need it though.

We had our two week checkups yesterday. My incision looks "awesome" and the girl is 1 lb 4 oz over her birthweight! Yahoo for us all!

Additionally, we went to the Hanna Andersson outlet today and spent our gift certificate. That ruled man. Nino has a new turtleneck, fleece, and mittens. Mia has 3 new pair of pants and I forget what, but I got other stuff for her too.

I am just so glad that we've passed that two week mark. Now I can drive, we can get out a bit more (although I'm in no hurry to take her to really germy places), life is just so much easier.

It's so beautiful out today. I can't wait to go out trick or treating with the boy. I have to go dig out his pumpkin bucket, but he's totally clear on the concept. He knows the phrase "trick or treat" and that he gets candy. How he knows this is a mystery.

Tomorrow we have our two week checkups. I can't wait to see how big the girl is getting. I know she's gaining. Her cheeks, belly, and thighs are definitely filling in. And hopefully I'll get a gold star for my recovery as well. She also has a hip ultrasound Friday, but I know her hips are a-ok. She does still like being crunched up, in the sling, in her same breechy position.

Way to freak a mom out :: phone message from pediatrician's office about my baby's test results, saying call back today. Turns out they just didn't get enough blood for her toxoplasmosis test, where I'm freaking out, as I'm on hold, that she's got PKU or something, cause I don't even know what they test for in the hospital.

Nino will be so happy though - today her cord fell off. He's freaked out by it every time he helps me change her. I'm glad we didn't have to wait for her tub bath though. Our pedi now doesn't give any "rules" about the cord - no alcohol, give baths any time, don't worry about it. And you know what? It was exactly the same, within a day, of when Nino's fell off.

I think all of my kids will be well served by my first being a "high needs" baby. I can't tell yet if this one is, but I feel like she's more mellow. Or maybe it's just me. I had to hold or wear her brother, nurse on demand, sleep touching him, just for my sanity. And now, that's what I do. I can't imagine parenting any other way now, but it grew from necessity. He's a perfectly normal, well adjusted almost 3 year old. Sure, he has his moments, but nursing until after his second birthday and sleeping with mommy and daddy did nothing to tamper his independent spirit. And as my MIL says "he's obviously not a child that never has 'no' said to him". We're not pushovers, just doing what's right for us.

We just got back from princess's checkup. She had been a bit jaundiced. Today, they didn't even think she needed a heel prick, she's such a normal color. Her hips "don't feel breechy", but they still do a two-week ultrasound. And she *is* getting two teeth. I'm not nuts. They brought all the nurses out since it's so rare. My superstar.

And they want breastfed babies to their birthweight by two weeks. Five days later, she's 7 lb exactly - 3 oz over her birthweight. WTG momma milk!

A recap of our week.

Tuesday: Appointment with Hypnobirth instructor. That afternoon, BP sends me for 24-hr observation in hospital. Baby has remained head down.

Wednesday: Discharged to bedrest.

Thursday night: awoken by serious baby movement.

Frday: Another BP check, NST, and Biophysical profile. DH is in xray for his foot while I am in radiology for BPP. His tibia has chips. She is certainly head up. Because of BP issues, they want her delivered soon. Soonest time available is Monday morning at 7:30. I figure we have the weekend to decide on a name and figure out G's childcare, etc.

Friday night: Climb into bed with Harry Potter. About 11 I feel funny. Get up to use the toilet. Poor DH is trying to hobble off the toilet for me and I feel I can't hold it. Turns out I'd sprung a large leak. I sit on toilet, hoping it's an "all at once" thing. We call MIL and I'm still leaking. This is a lot of liquid. G wakes up, I give him a kiss, Grandma settles in on mattress on floor. Get to hospital, where contractions have begun. Still leaking, they get me ready for C. Signing forms. Meanwhile, labor is really kicking in. I think it'd have been a fast one, as in the 1.5 hrs since my water broke, I really have to concentrate on them. They did no internal because of the germ factor, but I felt similar to when I showed up at the hospital with G, 5 cm.

Dr. Parker, the anesthesiologist, rocks. He talked me through it all, took necessary precautions but not over the top. "My" nurse, Molly, rocks too. She was who I'd have chosen to look after my baby. I get in there, they give me the spinal, which works immediately. I felt very lightheaded, and couldn't tell if it was the lights or the weirdness of the situation or what. My BP had dropped, so they adjust my medication. DH is brought in on his rolly stool and in his jumpsuit. I didn't know they had begin to cut me until I hear "there's her bum!!" and hear the yell. I could tell they were doing stuff, but not even a moment of discomfort. She is placed in the warmer. I watch DH cut the cord, hear her yell yell yell, her little bright red body. She came out very clean, a bit of blood, some vernix, and her hair is red when wet. Suddenly I feel my heartbeat in my ears. Dr P adjusts my meds again. My BP kept plummeting and I felt woozy.

As soon as I'm stitched up, we are brought to a recovery room, where I can hold her and nurse her. I'm very, very shaky, but she's a champ and knows what she wants. I probably shook for about an hour afterwards. It's weird to shake like that and not be cold.

Baby girl is bathed, swaddled, and we all go back to our room. Zonk out for several hours. At some point that afternoon, we officially decide on her name. Just seeing her, we know. It's perfect.

Massima Ward I. 6 lb 13 oz, 19" peanut.

So I show up for my bi-weekly NST for hypertension. They want to do a biophysical profile. They go to measure her head.

That's her bum. Again. I was woken up by activity last night, so it must have been serious. She's fine, measuring 7 lb 3 oz, and practice breathing. I almost had a C today.

I have to be there at 5:30 monday morning to deliver my baby girl. October 17 was my first original edd. How funny is that?

Unless my water breaks or something.

Oh and hubby was bringing the trash out today and broke his ankle. We are *quite* the pair.

I'm home with no baby. Which is good and not good. No induction, but no baby. BP was out of control at my appointment Tuesday, so I got sent for 24-hour observation and urine collection. BP is still high, but since it was able to (barely) stay under 150/90 with rest, I get to go home. On bedrest. And try things like pineapple, EPO, and sex to get me back.

I have until friday when I get checked again. Possible weekend induction. I'm at a "high and tight" 1.5 cm, so they aren't really raring to induce. If I were at a 3-4, she'd be here.

Off to dig out those capsules and shower the hospital stink off to get my hubby in the mood.

It was also my first night away from Nino. He left crying saying he wanted me to sleep at home. I did too. *sigh* He did fine though. Me, I needed Ambien. ;o)

Welcome to the world L Jack vT. Glad you didn't make your mom wait much longer.

This morning, at our hypnobirthing refresher, Mary told me my face looks like I'm close to delivering. I think that's a nice way of saying I'm puffy. I feel it, especially after taking some photos yesterday. Blergh. But it was nice to see her, chat, relax, and generally feel more prepared for the next step.

During relaxation, I had some contractions, verging on painful. I hope that all this hooey of pre-labor means a shorter main event. I dont' feel 100% ready yet, but close. And I don't have any of the same signs I had before Nino, other than the fact that all my nails broke. Weird omen that I haven't seen in any books, but a few days before his birth, all my nails broke off.

Wallace and Gromit was okay this weekend. I wanted the cleverness of the earlier stuff. Ah well. It was more mass-audience focused, which is fine. And I got some good sewing done. Two new pouches. Maybe for me?

Well the version was a-okay. Not comfy, not painless, but it worked! I'm a tish sore today, just like a bruise, which is no big surprise with the way they muscled me.

Now if I could go into labor in the next week, that would rock. Like Monday maybe. I'll have to check the lunar calendar. I've been crampy and achy, which could just have to do with this bizarre weather and the manhandling.

Just checked the lunar calendar. Apparently the 17th, my original due date, is a full moon. Imagine I have yet another punctual child?

Had the fun of my first non-stress test yesterday. I had a headache which with my BP issues can mean something. So I called to see what else I could take . . . 2 hours later I'm at the birth center with monitors all over. I did, however, get to check out the new tub. I so want to use this tub.

And read vogue. This very bizarre ad where this woman had an octopus on her head.

So I was telling hubby about it, as a while back there was a Jamie Kennedy show that in volved models and bugs in their mouth. Nino was there and goes "OH MY GOD!!" his use of that phrase just cracked us up. Lots. Then he went on to say that the octopus needs to go back in the Merrimack River.

Oh ya. And I was reading the sheet on The Version today, where they say things like "breech deliveries have a higher rate of c-section". Does this possibly mean that my doc will do vaginal breech deliveries? Can I do a little happy dance? I'd love that. That'd be cool. For her life I could tell her she came out arse first.

I am quite hopeful. At the chiropractor yesterday, she thought the baby is head down, sunny side up. Which they let me labor and/or deliver in. Possible back labor, yes, but avoiding c-section is wonderful, to me. Taking a bath Sunday night, baby was very active, and there was a moment of instant relief from back pain. It hasn't come back either. Not the awful chronic pain I had. And this morning, the sitter told me my shape was different. I'm hoping that one of these things is something.

Still, version is scheduled for Thursday, and maybe they can just wiggle her into place a bit. And jumpstart some labor? ;o)

In case you're wondering, it's called an external cephalic version (ECV). An aversion is something you have to something you don't like. And although you've chosen not to have one (apparently 65% success isn't enough for you?) I am still going to have it. I have no aversion to it. :curtsey

Isn't it bizarre that people are experts because of the internet? As far as I'm concerned, I have a 65% chance of avoiding major surgery. Sure, c-section isn't the worst surgery, but I'd rather use my parts as they are meant, given an opportunity. Besides, it's a half hour of discomfort tops. That's good enough for me.

Well, apparently it's a good thing Tom beat Jim last week. A mayoral candidate makes himself look like an ass by not checking snopes before forwarding vague scaremonger emails. To hundreds of potential voters.

Went to the chiropractor today for the Webster technique. She got the little one very active, but she's not turned yet, that I can tell. She went transverse for a bit but she seems to be breech again. I wonder if there's some reason, now. The chiro did say my sacrum and pelvis were all kinked to the right, so maybe if she can loosen me again it'll work. I go in tomorrow for an OB check so I'll have him confirm her position. It was nice to get loosened up a bit. And I'll see the chiro again tomorrow just in case it works. I had a hypnosis session this morning, and yoga tonight, so my body will be a well tuned machine by bedtime.

Well, she's still not right. But I have a full nine days to get her to turn! The version is scheduled for October 6, next Thursday. So I'm still seeing the chiropractor and hypnotist, continuing the acupuncture, ice packs, music and lights. The doc was very confident in doing it. He was a bit concerned about my BP but just wants to keep an eye. So I still get to go visit the office and pee in a cup twice a week.

And I'm feeling much better about it, I think because that's October and I have more than 5 days preparation. Even if I do end up C-sected immediately, I'll be 38+ and fine with that.

My massage is scheduled for Monday. That way, I still get it prenatally for sure. If she wants to help throw me into labor, more power to her.

Additonally, I got pulled over in front of the high school on my way there. I told the guy "I'm going to get my blood pressure checked" and he was like "you're pregnant right? I don't need to raise your blood pressure. bye."

Last night I dreamt about a massage. I guess I really want/need it. It was heavenly in the dream - almost like the real deal. Or a girl can pretend.

Nino is now in a fearful place. I don't know if it's the age, the impending changes, what it is. He told me he was going to fall in the water as he was falling asleep last night, woke up with worms in his bed, and generally is afraid he's going to fall any time there's any opportunity for that. I don't mind that it's turned him into even more of a cuddlebum, but it makes me sad to feel his little fingers grab me so tight as I lift him onto the dryer to put his shoes on.

I'm getting bigger and less comfortable. I'm sore all the time. I feel like I did 1000 squats, my back aches, I wake up with weird things like 2 fingers asleep. I never felt like this with Nino. Maybe it's because she's upside wrong. Not to mention that I can't sleep, pregnancy compounded by worries, and the boy hasn't been into napping. He's miserable by 3 pm so 4+ more hours of him isn't fun. I don't like raising my voice. I do lots of make-up cuddles. This afternoon I'm just all about him. He needs me. He knows I'm stressed out, uncomfy, worried, not ready for another child, and I think he knows he's going to have a lot less of me soon.

I also have morning sickness back. Nice to lose breakfast. I liked it. Once.

Shopping this weekend helped - now we have all the gear we need, down to someplace for princess to sleep. And yesterday we went to the horse farm, where Nino got to play with dirt, see horses, pat burros, and I had nothing else to do than play with him.

Yesterday I had my 36 week appointment. I was thrilled to have gained zero. However, both hubby and neighbor have been telling me I "look different", assuming I've "dropped" or whatnot. Turns out that no, she's upside-wrong. She's just sitting there like a big girl, not aiming toward the entrance as she should be. So my day yesterday consisted of researching all I could to get her to turn on her own, from chiropractic to acupuncture to frozen peas on the belly. I have an appointment with an OB tuesday to discuss an external version as well. I really, really, really don't want a c-section. I'm glad that's a priority to my midwives.

Anyway, she's still a girl. Here's her little face. Her foot's in front of it so it's not that clear, but she's yawning.

Man am I sore. I have no clue what it is. I walked around a lot Monday afternoon, lots of hills and stuff, leaflet-ing, and I weigh a good 30 lb more than I ever have, maybe that's it. But this morning, even my arms are sore. Need tonight's yoga class.

Yesterday was the primary. Congrats Tom. He got the second highest number of votes, which hubby and I had actually kind of hoped for. The winner may get lazy, Tom will have to work harder. And the person who "won" is diametrically opposite. Some of the other candidates were quite similar, so Tom's sure to pick up many of their votes. He's good at this. He can gain 500+ votes. If not, we've still got our dreams on realtor.com.

Oh ya and yesterday ran into this guy I worked with 7ish years ago. I had no idea who he was and he used to live in the city, so I had no idea it was him. Turns out it probably was and I looked the other way. Oops.

Last night, Nino learned how slippery the tub is and how fun it is to slide around and give momma a heart attack. Double whammy. Sits on the slopey non-faucet end and skids down till he's "swimming like a fishy".

When I picked Nino up at Sammy's house today, she was wearing a towel-cape and nothing else. You've gotta love two year olds.

I can't believe I'm a month away from meeting my daughter. This weekend I had some crampiness and some stomach stuff, and I realized it really could be any day now. She gets stronger and stronger and I now feel distinct knees. I make everyone feel her. So different from last time when I was all territorial about my bump. I started packing my bag, her little clothes are all washed and in her drawers. Tiny diapers lined up. The socks! They're the size of my thumb!! The thing that really cracked me up is that while '"m planning a fancy beautiful outfit for her to wear home, mine is a comfy frumpy suit. I know no one will be looking at me anyway.

Still up in the air about career decisions. We've started interviewing, and telling people how great it is, reminds me how great it is. And then trying to figure out how to keep Sue-sue available.

So we've decided that whenever I stop work, she'll still have Nino for two days. I think. I need to confirm with her. But it's great, because even though it's money spent and not earned, I'll be able to get into the groove with lil girl, nest beforehand, and nap. Naps were huge when he was wee. Then hopefully, I can talk to bossman in December or so and come back here for those 2 days, Januaryish. I'd really like that, even if all I do is production/website updates/not project management. I love that part but realize the continuity of two days leaves a bit to be desired in that regard. That's cool with me and then I'll just leave the work at the office. Can't beat that part.

This weekend Nino got to feel the baby move. It was just amazing to watch his little face as I told him what it was. Then every twenty minutes he wanted to feel her. She took a lot of "naps" this weekend.

Hubby is still ailing. He's spending the day at the hospital having tests run. Dye tests, xrays, bloodwork, all that. I hope they figure something out, because he's not healthy and it's not going away.

Last night, while getting Nino ready for bed, the red sox were on. He was wearing his sox jammies (well he was naked but going to wear them). Tied in the bottom of the ninth. I said "if you put your jammies on *now* the red sox will win". No sooner was his last limb through than Ortiz hit a homer. We'll have to practice that one through the world series.

Making myself sick on Storck Chocolate Riesen. If you haven't tried it and don't want a new addiction, steer clear. This has become comfort food to me. So chewy it makes your jaw hurt. So chocolatey. So heaven.

Tonight we're having blts for dinner as everyone and their mom (literally) has decided we need more tomatoes. Maybe I'll try my hand at making sauce. Not that it helps the heartburn.

Good weekend. Yesterday G got to hold more baby birdies at Auntie Sarah's house. They're so tiny - about 5 days old and a small breed anyway. They were offered to us in a month. Like that'll be a good time to be protecting chickens from Marco/coyotes/neglect.

Thanks JaimeJenn.

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Week vacation was just wonderful. We spent one day on the whale watch, one day going to Boston. We rode the swan boats, played with the ducks (you no longer can feed them), ate italian ice while watching the funky balloon thing. It was really great. And Nino is pretty much potty trained. I just started that first day with going potty every time we did anything, and for the last 4-5 days he's had accidents here or there, but he really gets it! Yahoo!

Here he is with the real swans and daddy:

Today we went on a whale watch. Even the boat's naturalist said it was a good day. We saw 2 minke whales, about 6-8 finback whales (the planet's second largest animal, the size of 4 brontosaurus!), and probably 50 pilot whales. Including babies and "socially active" pairs (which the lady later said meant mating).


Nino is there checking out the pilot whales (in all red of course):


Daddy's shoulder just so you can see how close they were. Pilots are only a bit bigger than a dolphin:

Of the playgroup moms, I'm the only one still pregnant. That means I'm next! Wow. Still, 9+ more weeks to go.

I'm also the only one who won't be done after this.

But they are all girls. Ava just joined the neighborhood yesterday (well, actually, she won't be home until Saturday probably).

We're on at-home vacation next week, and I'm kind of ridiculously excited. We're going to do stuff like go on a whale watch, go into Boston on the train and ride the swan boats (we're in a "make way for ducklings" place right now), hit the beach, and hopefully potty train. I don't want to have to do something every day, but I want it to be fun. I can't wait.

Fun weekend. Friday we headed to Atlanta to see the baby girl who is now one. Saw the new condo, which is super nice and should serve them well. Saturday hooked up with buds at Ikea. That place is nuts. Can't wait till we get our own. I got the weirdest assortment of storage boxes, little train toys. I wanted to find a bed rail for G's big boy bed, but no go. I guess we'll keep looking. I'm also thinking of making something of cloth, so maybe we'll hit the fabric store soon.

We also went out for grown up dessert (coffee for me, decaf, thanks) with another bud which was fun. Got to feel all growed up.

The travel was actually just fine. Nino was pretty good at walking himself (a few 'hoooolldd me momma' moments) and I had a good setup with the roller bag and the carseat. Not that I wanted anyone to bend over backwards for me, but I was surprised that *no one* did anything for the pregnant lady with toddler. They have a little tram that only has 4-5 seats on it and there were 3 able-bodied adult men on it with their bags. Nothin'. I should have enlisted one of those dumb little cars to take us to our gate.

I keep trying not to cry. Yesterday when Nino told Grandpa "our friend Vivian died" it near broke my heart.

I'm now realizing that it wasn't my fault. Heatstroke sounds bad. I just needed to give her a dunk and she'd be here, right? But really, its a super high fever that no one knows where it came from. Healthy dogs don't die of the heat on 74 degree days, right? It was the most beautiful day in weeks.

I hate that it happened so fast. I called Thursday saying she was acting funny but they weren't worried. Dogs act funny for a day or two and then are fine.

We're starting to set up the big boy room so we did some rearranging of furniture and rugs. Too much change for the little guy. "I want the living room back in here!!" (referring to the rug of course). And he keeps asking where Wivyun is. He likes the idea that she's a star. "A black and white one?" Man is he great.

Bye Viv.

Nino's new thing is to talk about things as if the worst happened. I was picking him up one day and he was outside at Suesues. Someone locked their brakes up behind me (no clue why, I had been stopped for a while with turn signal on) and he kept saying "that car slammed into momma's van!"

Or the other day, a family of ducks waiting to cross. After much honking, they turned away from the interstate. "Those ducks went under our car!"

Or coming off the exit ramp. "The car tipped over like this" with hand illustration and all.

Not to mention the swearing. Appropriately. "God dammit!" "Fucking crap!"

Hubby has let up and so has Nino.

I'm trying to make a poll.

It worked! See right. --->

Hypnobirthing #3 last night. We were late again. I said to hubby "well we kind of *have* to be late next time to be really consistent". Ugh.

Firstly, the breathing. I'm not that great at taking in a really slow breath so by the count of 8 I was stuffed, cause I gasp at 2. I'm supposed to be at 20. Gotta work at that. But she had her hand on my abdomen while we counted, and baby girl was whacking her but good. Then, we did a "fear release" session which was great. I had issues last week and this was good. There were times I was so out of it I barely heard her. So the imagery wasn't as strong but the trance part was A-one. However, I heard snoring. So then we finish up and T says "was I snoring?" Yes, it was *my* hubby who was asleep. At least he relaxed.

My son now says his name and address. Cracks me up. Only we know what he means. "Atch-a-bew-chee". "I live in Mass-uh-chew-sits!"

Good weekend. Started music classes on Friday. He loved it. Rhythm sticks, xylophones, dancing. Fun. And we have the cd so he keeps saying "momma! We sang this at music class!!" Went to the park for an evening concert Friday. Nino loved his broccoli and everyone around us was amazed."Broccoli yummy yummy!!"

And last night on the way home, he fell asleep at 5:30. I was entirely ready to wake up for the day at 4 and was pleasantly surprised that he slept right on through until 7:30. I guess he was a tired boy.

It begins. My son is now asking for a pony. "I want a pony to bring home here". I told him that ponies don't live in houses. It's only a half-truth, they wouldn't be allowed in our neighborhood.

I hate relying on people. We have had childcare lined up for a date for going on 2 weeks and have we gone out at all yet? Ugh. I hate that this same person takes niece because niece really will be marginally neglected otherwise but because we ask nicely and play by the rules we get taken advantage of?

Yes, it's just a movie, and it's free, and all that, but I hate finding out an hour beforehand that this preggo won't sit in an icy cold theater for 2 hours. Tonight it's happening come hell, high water, or grandma's house.

Well, my blood pressure is down! Woot! It was like 128/74 - the lowest it's been in months. I'm just so happy. Lots more listening to the HB cds and protein and ice cream. Baby was very active again. I really like the doctor I saw - she's the closest to a midwife a doc can be, and she hypnobirthed her 3 kids.

Also had class #2 last night. That was fun. Weird small world stuff with one of the dads who's getting his MArch. I feel huge though learning when they were due - a full month before me. Lucky first timers. We did some self-hypnosis and I, the skeptic, was surprised by how effective it was. Almost scary to feel that cottony numb feeling. If I can feel cottony and numb when in labor, perfecto.

People with dogs that they treat as kids need to learn that good parents discipline their kids. When your dog bites my perfect son, don't tell my husband not to kick her. How's about you put her away? She still sat under his chair throughout dinner licking his toes, which btw, he didn't like, since she'd bitten him once. Morons.

Other than that, not the worst weekend. Once again, I'm in the six month Building Technology penalty box. I really don't understand what I'm doing wrong, but I have no choice other than to take it again, on the same arcane CAD program, as my state will allow no else. I hate it. I hate that I'll have a 6 week old daughter when I'm next eligible, so I likely won't get to it until she's older, and I'm older, and it'll be 2006. Ugh.

We also went to see the moving wall last night. I wasn't sure how it'd be, a replica of a very powerful place. I thought it was pretty well done overall, and impressed that our little blue-collar town hosted it, and so respectfully.

I was all hot and bothered about boobies when I went to waterfront park to do my relaxation. En route, I see a youn gmom with her 2 month old-ish baby, nursing him right there for the world to see (well she used a receiving blanket, but there was no denying that he was having lunch). Warmed my heart and put me in a much better relaxation place.

Then I got into it. First time trying outside at the park, and it still worked. I can't believe I can gt into it, cause I'm such a nuts-and-bolts gal. But when the 12:30 drawbridge horn sounded, I opened my eyes in a groggy haze. When the lady told me I was going to come out alert on 5, I felt like a million bucks.

However, I still wasn't in enough of a state to use the ATM, and my card was retained, as I screwed up the password in my meditative state. At least t hey were able to get it immediately and I just have to wait 24 hours to use it again.

Had another peek at bambina yesterday. She's beautiful, all 2 lb 1 oz of her. Still a girl, and very active (which I knew ;o). Hubby got to be there, which was very exciting. He hadn't "seen" her in a while. The tech was great, taking her time, showing us all of her parts and tons and tons of face shots. She tried to do the 3d thing, which looked cool in real-time but she was just too wiggly for a still.

I guess if you have high BP they check for growth in the baby and premature aging of the placenta and fluid. That all looked great, but I'll likely have to go back. Maybe another shot at the 3d face.

She looks just like big bro to me in this one:

Let me tell you. It's not all that relaxing when you go out, find one shady spot that gets the harbor breeze, sit in the grass to listen to a relaxation tape and you can't figure out wtf is wrong with the (okay, like 10 year old) discman. Not that I've even tried to use it in the last 3 years, but it let me hear a bit of track one, and when I skipped to two, forget it. Maybe it doesn't like the heat either. It's hard enough to find 27 minutes of quiet time to listen, and I could even deal with whatever bit me while I was in the grass, but no. I figure that peanut m+ms will serve as today's relaxation.

Update: Apparently it was the heat. I can hear it *now*. Ugh.

Welcome to the third trimester. Apparently this pregnancy is going to be bookended with nausea. Or I have a little bug. It's not horrible but man. Maybe if it were 20 degrees cooler out I'd feel better.

A happy thing - we had our first hypnobirth class last night. That was really nice. Of the 4 couples, we're the only one who'd ever done it before. Ah the fun of watching men's first experience seeing a baby come out of a real live vagina on video. It was nice, relaxing, and I feel like it'll help us. I don't buy into 100% of it, but if we come away with some tools to relax, I know we can do this thing. I brought my discman today - I'll find a shady spot on the grass to do my "rainbow relaxation" at lunchtime. Realistically, that's the only time I have, toddler free.

Speaking of, Sue-sue is back full force. Last week without her was hard. All of the eggs in her hanging plant are now baby birdies (redpoles) so that's fun for all.

Tomorrow I get another peek at girly. I hope she's still a girl.

Dear owners of Sandlewood Pointe,

There is such a word as handle, and one sandal, but no sandle. Please check into these things before you put it on your sign.

Today during my nap I had my first real vivid labor and birth dream. The birth itself was amazing. I was reading about homebirths when I snoozed off, and in the dream, I don't think I was at home, but I caught her myself. That was pretty cool.

Apparently any bloodwork at our office gets run by the docs. Sooooo my blood is fine. But the BP is really higher than they want to see it at this point (duh).

So I have to switch to the doc. I know it's not a big deal but it makes me want to cry.

Really I shouldn't have any issues with labor + delivery. I'll still get my natural birth in the tub if that's what I want. It's just more a medical model that I'm afraid of. I love my hour long appointments. I love that they know where to get the good prenatal massages and take the good yoga classes. I know that a doc will prescribe BP meds, and that might be what I need, but I still feel . . . not good. Don't do this to a hormonal pregnant woman.

I feel so dumb because it really doesn't matter.

As an aside, the doc wants another u/s before I even get in there, so I'll get to see her again in a week.

Already she's different than her big brother. She's more lots of dancing and bopping and kicking, whereas Nino was all about the big body roll type movements. I can put my hand there and just feel a rat-a-tat like she's doing a dance. I love it.

Which put me in a better mood after going out, pressing the walk button at the crosswalk, the light turning red, visibly pregnant, and still no one stops. Run a red light to prevent a pregnant lady from crossing at the crosswalk when it's her turn? Rrg.

In general, on edge, as my exam results will come in the next 2 weeks or so. But any day could be it, really. Eek.

My child makes me laugh non stop. This morning I put on his baseball outfit. I asked him what it said on his shirt and he went "red sox!!" and did this little "rah-rah" dance. I'm not sure I've ever seen anything funnier.

My back hurts today. I need to go for a walk or something. And the a/c wasn't on in the office all weekend so I'm dying. I'm just gonna complain a lil bit.

Yesterday was niece B's high school graduation party. Who said she could get so old? She was like 6 when I met her. G was a superstar, it was fun overall. Hot but good.

Not much else this weekend. I know it's kind of pitiful when I notice and appreciate Pine-sol's new fresh scent. I'm okay with that. I haven't seen DiTi in 2 days though. Mao is very friendly. I hope all's okay.

What a fun, crazy weekend. Saturday was the big fun parade. Nino loved every second of it - fire trucks, bands (and dancing, of course), giant balloons, old cars. Saturday night made some new friends (college pals spent the night) and breakfast Sunday. Sunday night got to hang out with cousin Sophia ("I love my cousin") again. Monday morning breakfast in Gloucester, then to the pool party for a while, then to grandma's to hang out with the cousins.

And yesterday was our forced day off. Got stuck in boatloads of traffic trying to run errands and return something to Kittery. Ugh. Then we spent the afternoon at the beach with Susan and Marisa. That was fun.

Now back in it.

Susue has been called for a Grand Jury next week. I'm in total denial that this could affect my life. It could be up to 3 months. I'm hoping that her connections to the juvenile court will get her sent home. I'm only obligated to pay her for 3 days, and I could probably find a college student for whatever time I need, but I don't want to. I told her to buy a really big gold cross and act all obnoxious.

We'll see.

Whitney comes home tomorrow!! I haven't seen that baby in six long months!

Apparently last night there was a lobster in the crib. 430 am, and it was a crisis. So no going back in the crib. Thank heavens the a/c was op e rational but still, there really isn't room in that bed for the 4 of us, 2 growing by leaps and bounds.

This morning we talked about dreams and how it's not real.

Man alive was it hot this weekend. Spent altogether too much time in Debbie's inflatable pool. Was a bit better about wearing the sunscreen but still not good enough.

The farm was really wonderful. Truly wonderful. G-man loved holding baby birdies, feeding the goat a bottle, all of it. We washed our hands about ninteen times and I think that we've come out bacteria-free. The only bad thing at all this weekend was the stupid ticket for driving through a yellow light with a white license plate, in NH. Meanies. I'd have to go to Jaffrey to contest it. Because I have a sitter and/or vacation time to do so. Ugh.

"It was red when you saw it, and red when you drove through it."

Here is the boy feeding a baby goat.


And last night, we inherited an air conditioner - the standalone one. Sooo much better a sleeping night.

This little girl is now super twitchy. All the time, from little flutters to genuine jabs. She likes my affinity for chocolate.

And I'm fairly certain that I'm at least as excited about this farm trip as Nino. I have to stop on the way home tonight to get some picnic lunch supplies. It's supposed to be mid 80s. That's the part I'm least looking forward to - the smell of warm chicken guano. Hopefully we'll mostly be outside.

Nino has been asking to "go to the farm and hold a baby bird". So I have found a farm that will do just that. One Friday we're going. It's about 80 miles away, but we can work naps into the trip. I have a feeling that holding chicks is not PC any more - I think it was more common when we were little. Not to mention that his friend Noah and family will probably meet us there. He's going to be in heaven. And if there are baby animals "having momma milk" he might just pass out. I love that it's so easy and fun.

Great weekend. Friday I turned 30. Yow! Got hubby to take me for steak (yahoo for pregnancy mandated "protein"). Went into the North End for some super pastries. Still eating those. Then picked up Julie at the airport. Birthday party (and cake!!) showed up Saturday afternoon which was fun. Saturday night had a weird not-hungry-until-it-was-too-late experience, so we had pizza after driving all over creation. Fun to watch the peeps at the Hampton Boardwalk, but none of us were in the mood for Fry-Doe so we ended up at home again. Yesterday Fathers day with my dad and father of my kiddos.

Then, last night, after the airport, Nino was asking for "jooooooooo-weee" the whole way home, at least until he fell asleep. And this morning, he wondered "where that girl go?" He wants to go to her house and visit. I said okay.

And last night hubby finally agreed that this child will be Eleanora or Rosa, with him leaning toward the latter, myself the former. I will work on that one.

I'm so sorry my sweet angel boy. Your irritabililty, I should have known, was related to both ears being wildly infected. Thank you for just *saying* "momma, my ears hurt" when I was too dense to link it to your 4 am waking. You seem so much better after just two doses of the pink goop.

Additionally, at the grocery store waiting for the Rx, I bought two cartons of breyers on sale. No sooner was it in the freezer than we lost power for 9 hours. I don't even want to look. I'm so sad. Meat, chicken, soup, meh. Ice cream. No.

So between studying for my exam (which was Monday), nervous pre-ultrasound, yesterday, and thunderstorms Monday night, I needed sleep. Badly. And who decides he's going to cry, really cry, in the middle of the night until he's in our bed? Then, when he's in our bed, sleep all over me?

I love you boy, but I'm pooped. Tonight we rest.

Well, today we found out that we're having a little girl!! I'm so excited. Everything was perfect. Just seeing that little person, with all the right parts, it was amazing.

On a not as good note, my blood pressure was up. It's too early for that. Now I just have to be super careful and hope we can get things under control.

Man do I hate being sick. Especially when caring for a two year old. Doesn't he know that yesterday I would have been thrilled to watch Fire Trucks three times in a row with him on my lap? And being pregnant, not being able to do what I really want to do - take a big pill and zonk out. I've convinced myself that I feel better today. Oprah and the couch help with that. Thank God for Su-sue taking G even when I'm just at home sick.

Last night we had a few "small in this universe" moments. We took dinner out to the beach and folded the van seats down. There were sand drifts, just like snow drifts, all over the roads and parking lots. 6-18" drifts in parking spaces. We're talking a ways from the ocean too. And we hopped out for a second and got pummeled by the rain, sand, salty air. It was wild.

Then on the way home, in the Evil Empire Walmart, lost power. It was *dark* for a few seconds, before the emergency lighting came up. Scary place to be, as that place ups my blood pressure anyway. I was ready to ditch but we needed our ivy plugs.

It was a nor'easter, we had twigs and branches all over the yard. So then hubby decides that Nino should sleep with us. Which was fine until I had about 6" of bed space. And I'm the pregnant one. So I scooped up the boy and back in his crib he went. And last night they were both sleep-talkers. No wonder I'm pooped.

And on a *very* exciting note, it seems John's Ted will be home Saturday. I'm so excited for them. Although he'll be taking time off at work so I'll be picking up some . . .

Friday was a lot of fun. Portsmouth Children's Museum was a perfect place for a 2 year old playdate. Nino loved dressing up like a lobsterman. The only bummer is, I set the camera up to download and then deleted. The download didn't work. :o(

Then we went for fish with Martha and Josh. Really fun. Nino loved fried haddock. He ate *tons* of it. It was good to see them, just hang out, chitchat, eat ice cream.

Saturday was Kristine's wedding. We got lost and entirely missed the ceremony. Everyone was beautiful, beautiful location, kind of yucky weather, but fortunately it didn't matter. Got to see some people I haven't seen since college. Nice trip back, Nino had fun with the grandfolks.

Yesterday church - only two more sundays left with Roger. And then Nino took a good nap. And I'm trying to get on a study schedule.

We also had a bit of a name chitchat, and although Leila has been added to the list, it seems Eleanora is the current frontrunner for a girl. Which I'm thrilled about. It's my fave on the list, and although it's not hubby's fave, he likes it best with the last name. Woohoo!

I had this very vivid dream last night where we bought a new house. It was a 50 year old cape on the most amazing site. Several acres of meadow, with lots of old stone walls and things in it. The house was a nice, generous, rambling place, with tons of space. But it hadn't been lived in in several years, so it was incredibly dirty. I remember being so excited that all it needed was a good wash. Also, in the dream, I was hugely pregnant with a girl, but had two boys - about 5 and 2. Nino must have been the other one, and the little one was definitely a brother - just a bit different in looks. Maybe my body already knows my child forecast?

Well, my appointment to find out the girl or boyness of this bub was supposed to be tomorrow. But they rescheduled me for *three weeks* further away. Ugh. At least by then things should be crystal-clear.

My appointment friday was fun, Nino and hubby were there, and he wanted to "hear mommas baby" and don't think he understood that's what it was.

And we had lots of nap issues. Lots. Why this child won't sleep for me is beyond me. He gets irritable at 2 pm and if he doesn't sleep, he's irritable for the rest of the day. Occasionally I can get him to sleep and our day is so much better. Infinitely better. Su-sue can usually get him to sleep. Makes me feel second-rate.

"momma, is any poop coming out of my hole?"

Is that the funniest thing you've heard in ages?

I go back and forth daily on the gender thing. May 17 can not come soon enough.

I'd love a girl. I kind of have my heart set on a girl. Our perfect little family. And Nino is so insistent that he's having a sister, sometimes I forget that we don't actually know. I want a girl to put pigtails on and dress in purple tutus. I want a daughter.

But then again, my son is perfection. If I could have him ten times over, I would. I have loved every second with his blue clad tractor loving self.

Which brings me to the other concern. How will I ever have a child this perfect again? How will I have enough time, energy, love for the new baby and my son? How can he lose his status as my one and only?

Funny things the boy now does or says:

"I see" or even funnier "mm. I see"
"sort of" like in "that sort of look like daddy car"
"really bad" as in "I haffa go potty really bad"

He cracks me up to no end.

I'm hungry. Always hungry. Better than a few weeks back.

And today I called the midwife to see if I can get my ultrasound scheduled, and they're taking me in two weeks from today! Wow!

So my neighbor called last night and her son has Fifth Disease. Ugh. And all I could do was read online, which is a bad idea. I don't need to read phrases like "spontaneous abortion". But my mom's pretty sure I've already had it, the midwives weren't that concerned, and will take blood at my next visit. I was at least hoping to come in for a little heartbeat check. I have to say, that's not a sound I mind hearing too much.

A good weekend, overall. Beautiful weather. Saturday was B's wedding, and we had a lovely time. She looked amazing, and seemed to have fun. SIL brought Nino to the reception, and he melted down. It was late, there were more people than he'd seen at once . . . we got our cake to go and skedaddled. We spent the night there (where none of us slept well), but the next morning got to have brunch with the newlyweds and all. I just adore H, he's so perfect for her. And Nino got to come to that, and be a superstar. Yesterday, another beautiful day, drove home, and caught up on laundry. We saw Fever Pitch (fun), went to bed early, we all slept like logs. Another beautiful day, but that I'm back at work. ;o)

Oh! And I got my pass letter for general structures. That just leaves one more exam until I can say Architect. Woohoo.

Here I am with the bride. I look kind of pregnant in this picture. Yikes!

Another goodie. Got to see bub just spinning and flipping, and as a result it was hard to get a heartrate (160-something, she said), and hard to get a good pic (but I attached the one we did get). No indication of what caused the spotting, so they gave me the rhogam shot (now I have to move around to keep it from getting sore).

Anyhoo, things are fine. Measuring 12w6d, which is right in line with my edd of 10.21. Oh wait, that's a fourth due date, but it's right between the others they've given me.

And she wouldn't even peek between his/her legs, which is understandable, as you could barely see face, but they won't look before 16. She says that *sometimes* they can see a penis, but lack of one doesn't mean much.

Word to the wise: If you are having a surprise event, make sure that the person responsible for getting the guest of honor there knows their role. K thought it was her uncle’s fiftieth birthday, and we waited for her for 2 plus hours.

Anyway, it was still fun, and having M for the weekend was great. I can’t believe we made it the entire weekend without fried clams though. We must be getting old.

And some odd spotting yesterday has me scheduled for another ultrasound tomorrow. I hope everything’s okay and I just get a peek at the child again.

I'm fairly certain I feel flutters already. With Nino, I felt him around 14, so 12 isn't out of the question for #2. Heck, hubby told me yesterday that I look more pregnant now than at 6 months with Nino. Thanks.

Not to mention I'm back to the "craving sooo badly and then it makes me sick" stage. What is that? Why does a butterfinger make me salivate, and alternately make me heave?

12 week appointment: started off with me being freaked out, as it took her a minute to find the heartbeat. And by "minute", I mean "14 of the longest seconds of my life". She kept finding my blood supply or something. But then. Oh then. 168 wonderful bpm. She let us listen for a gloriously long time, while nugget kept sliding away.

I've only gained like 3 lb to date, and I really want to keep that in check. Next appt is Friday the 13th! For my 16 week check and triple screen.

He is a riot. Last night I was changing into my pajamas and so Nino saw my boobies. He said “I like those momma milks”. Then he said he wanted some. So I said “big boys don’t have those, they’re for babies”. He said “no, those are for big boys. Those are for ME.”. Omylord. So then I said something again about babies, and he says “Sophia has Whitney’s momma milks?” Is he the smartest?

Well, after everyone's illnesses, I have a cough. Fortunately, that's all it is, and I hope that's all it ever is. I'm downing the ricola drops and pretending they're working.

Saturday is the big class in Boston. I'm doing my own studying but am trying to leave nothing to chance. Monday is the big test. Eek.

He's so funny. His new thing is "a little bit". All the time. "Do you woant some fruit?" "a little bit". Do you want to go play with the kids? "a little bit". And the way he says it. You have to hear it.

And this morning, he kept putting his "tool guy" in my pocket. It's the little people dude who drives his dump truck. I kept handing it back, and in my pocket it went. So finally I said "should I take him to work and bring him back later?" he said yes. So when I put my jacket on for lunch and felt that, the hugest smile grew across my face. :adore

And suddenly, I have big, hard, sore boobies. Not like engorgement big, hard, sore, but just solid and sore. Firm.

Well, Pam just lost her baby too. That means of the 3 of us (when there are only 6 active members, this is huge) who were due in October, I'm the last standing. I want to still post about my pregnancy, but will probably lay fairly low and just talk about G and life, until they're pregnant again.

Yawn. Double yawn. One instant coffee isn't going to do my babe harm, right? Yawn.

I've been cleaning my house for eons preparing for easter, then last night, putting it all away and running the dishwasher 18 times and vacuuming the lamb's coconut fur from the carpet, and then G gets the croup. Well, he got it on Friday but I was in denial. Thank god meme was able to come over today, as I couldn't send him to his standard Monday place, with 2 other tots to get sick.

I need a nap.

He's a hoot and a half. Last night we were laying around after his bath, me dressed and he in his diaper. He said "momma, you want some milk?" as he grabbed his nipples. So I said "okay" and went nibble nibble on his chest. Then I said "I want some leggie milk" and blew raspberries on his legs. Went around his body this way. He then said "I want some momma milk on your head" and blew razz on my forehead. We were rolling around in hysterics.

He's become such a love lately. He gives me kisses or says "momma I love you SO MUCH" without me even prompting.

And how cute is this?

My son is a godforsaken riot. This weekend we showered together, and asI was drying and he was just splashing around, he pooped in the shower. I related the story to someone as a funny. So yesterday, Su-sue is telling me funny stories, and he went "hahaha I pooped in the shower". Oh.My.God. I died.

We also dyed eggs last night. I got quite good at blowing them out and made some delicious smelling quiches. Frozen for Easter. I'm so trying to plan to keep craziness to a minimum.

Had the big real first doctors appointment on Friday. That was . . . okay. No attempt to hear the hb as I wasn't even 10 weeks yet. I just love my practice and my midwives. After I dressed we still sat down and had a chat. She read the report about Nino's birth, and we went over some of that. Not in a bad way, but just to recall and be a bit more aware this time.

Hubby came home on Friday and wanted to go away. We decided that it wasn't practical to go away, but we were going to be "on vacation" for the weekend. We ate every meal out (even breakfast!), did everything together (even groceries!) and did silly stuff like went to the beach. The seals were awesome. Nino loved them, the stick he found, and getting his socks, shoes, and cuffs soaked. We rented Napoleon Dynamite (thumbs up) and saw Million Dollar Baby (thumb wavering, meh). It was his birthday, so we went to his parents to celebrate with his brothers and all. Nino loved singing happy birthday *twice* and helping blow out candles *twice*. Lots of his saliva on the frosting, but everyone was a good sport about it.

Another good weekend. Not much going on. We're slowly telling more and more people (BIL Pete and his wife yesterday). Also, we're now officially committed to hosting Easter. That actually should be quite fun. I like having holidays so we don't have to trek around to see everyone.

Got a ton of snow on Saturday. I wasn't able to go to Rachel's party, but we did stay in and bake and stuff. I don't mind being snowed in. And fun with the boy.

Yesterday was a sick day. I'm glad I now have sick and not sick days, as opposed to the badness throughout of a bit ago.

My sense of smell is returning. Good, in that it brings taste with it. Mmm, funnybones. I just fear that the onion bagel I smelled at noon in the elevator is the one I brought in at 8 am and everyone has been smelling it since. In denial, I say no.

I'm also sad because A is losing her baby. She's as far along as I am, and we met on a ttc after miscarriage board. We got pregnant the second time together and her daughter is just 6 days younger than Nino. We were due within 3 days again this time. She's paid her dues. This shouldn't happen.

I have a cold. I could feel it was coming last night. Overnight it got bad. I'm not happy. I've had about a gallon of tea today. It makes me feel better for the 3 minutes immediately afterward.

I hope this is it. I don't want it to get worse before it gets better.

I think our boy will be Massimo, called Max. Vanni and Max? Nino and Max? Maxo? ;o)

Girl . . . this is going to be tough. I don't think daddy wants to even talk about it until we know we need to find a pink name. My new fave is Carolina.

Sooo happy!!

I'm back! Everything was fine, other than the fact that everything took *forever*. Lucky the office is slow or my secret would be out. Bean is measuring 7w6d, which according to O date is spot on (I'm 8w2d LMP, but I know I o'ed around d17). Heartrate of 147, and yes, there's only one. ;o)

I'm thinking boy, as G's first heart rate was 150. But who knows right? I'm just on cloud nine.

I just loved seeing that little blob with the flicker. It was at the hospital, so it wasn't set up for me to see like in the ob's office. So I'm trying to read the tech/hubby's faces. All of a sudden hubby smiles and goes "is that a *baby*?!?" and the tech just grinned and said "yup!"

They gave us a pic.

I've worked myself into a tizzy. This morning I've been having these weird shooting pains, it feels like my cervix. Well then I went to the ladies' and found a tiny spot. TMI ahead, but I couldn't tell which part it was coming from. So I called the midwife, and they want me in for an ultrasound right away. I have been begging and now the time's here and I can't stop thinking worst-case. I have no reason to think anything's wrong, and know that this pain and possible spotting are probably attributable to last night's "marital relations", but I also have this weird fear of ultrasounds, as that's when we found out the first pregnancy wasn't right.

I'm also mostly symptomless. I don't know if I feel less nauseated or if I'm just getting used to the baseline crappiness feeling.

I'm not sure I'm going to sleep tonight.

Good weekend all around. Went to the rainforest cafe on friday, which Nino just adored. Met Meme for some shopping, and she got me a great outfit to wear to B's wedding, as well as just loads of all purpose clothing. Saturday went to Al's birthday event, as hubby was mixing concrete and making our house into a dust bowl. Yesterday headed to bridal shower 18000 miles away. It was fine. Big vats of scrambled eggs and mass produced danishes, but my belly actually did okay.

Even though it's a pita to move Nino mid day Mondays, he loves having a playdate every Monday morning, and I love seeing him in the middle of the day. Having lunch with him was a glorious break today.

Also, things are going on. I don't feel movement per se, but I feel lots of activity down there. Like things are stretching and rearranging. And my husband told me things look different. My fat is getting squished up high, above my belly button. Fortunately no weight gain yet. Small victories.

I.ate.a.sandwich.for.lunch.

I'm beyond thrilled. It was delicious, nutritious, and best part - still on the ins.

The woman who does our paychecks announced her pregnancy to me today. She's due exactly a month before me. It was all I could do not to scream "ME TOO". ;o)

I'm so hormonal. I guess. A girl I was "friendly" with in high school (heck, we went to preschool together) died last week in a horrible skiing accident. Her family has set up a really lovely site with photos, service info, and a guest book. I read all 8 pages of the guest book and now I can't hold it together. It just shouldn't happen. Parents shouldn't have to have funerals for their kids. This beautiful woman was at the prime of her life. Married, successful, happy.

Not to mention my stomach is still mad at me. I ate this morning but every time I stand up, turn around, climb into the van, I need a little prayer.

Hilary's new diet plan. I should write a book.

8 am: Eat breakfast. Bagel or cereal, or something otherwise deemed "mild".

9 am: Think that *today* will be the day that you keep it down.

9:15 am: Lose breakfast

11 am: Eat about 14 mini-pretzels, say little prayer after each one.

12:30-2:00: Drink can of soda. Take sweet time.

3:00-4:30 pm: Drink second can of soda. Be careful.

6 pm: Eat something mild like 6 tbsp of mashed potatoes or bowl of cereal.

3 am: Wake with weird stomach noises and eat one square graham cracker. Another prayer is necessary.

Repeat for 12-14 weeks.

Well, today's better. I think maybe I had a bug, or just a really horrible day. Still some puke today, but not the death-warmed-over of yesterday. I can handle if it's like this for 5-7 weeks. Not that I wouldn't *love* it to end sooner.

Not to mention that we got a foot of snow, and the new van isn't 4wd. It's not horrible in the snow, but I fear the parking space I jammed myself into. I have to leave early so hopefully I can enlist help if need be.

Wonder how I tell if I have a bug or just morning sickness? I feel awful. Worse than ever. I can't keep anything down, I can't stomach anything. I have the chills. I want to go home. I can't concentrate on work. Yeck.

Hold me.

So I had my first appointment. Just with the nurse. Asked me all about my pregnancies, my health, my family's health, my husband (no really, he doesn't hit me). Took a lot of blood. And that stupid diabetes drink. I think it's because I'm fat they give it to me early. I also begged for an ultrasound. I didn't get one, but she wrote it down. I'm begging at my next appointment. I'll beg every chance I get until I see my bean.

Now I feel gross. That orange soda stuff is gross.

I thought I'd found the solution this morning. While packing Nino's bag, apple juice looked amazing to me. I was practically salivating. So I got myself a large apple juice and egg sandwich. The egg tasted good (yay!) but the juice was like pedialyte - too sweet, too syrupy.

I was so close.

Bleh.

This child better be making himself nice and comfy in there. I've got 34 more weeks and you've already changed my life. I'm sick like I never was with Nino. Not to mention that this morning I had some spotting and cramping, so I called the nurse line. "That's normal" they tell me. I'm going to beg for an ultrasound tomorrow. It's my iniitial appointment, with the first blood draws, free vitamins, all that.

Why do I do this to myself?

I lurk on the pp October 2005 board sometime, but don't post there, as they have about a million members. This week, about a thousand of them are posting their "goodbye" posts. It makes me so sad, gives me doubts. Do I feel sick enough? Why aren't my boobs sore? Why are all these people *so* pregnant and I just feel premenstrual?

Remind me not to hang out there. Besides, I have a nice zit to prove the hormones are a-raging.

It's starting to sink in a little. Friday morning I'm pretty sure I woke Whitney up to tell her. I wanted a ticker, dammit!! ;o)

Then my parents were en route to GA for the weekend and I decided it'd be mean for W to know and be with Barb and not be able to chat about it. So I told mom. Very excited, but cautious of course. December 2001 we had an early miscarriage. I don't want a repeat, thanks very much.

I'm feeling okay. Very stretchy and crampy. A bit nauseated, not too bad. I have my first appointment next Wednesday the 23rd. I'm going to angle for an ultrasound. I want to be reassured.

Hubby told me this was the best valentines gift I could give him. Asked Nino if he wanted a baby boy or baby girl, and he said "a baby girl will clean up my mess". Nice. Wonder where he gets this?

Oh and I'm no longer allowed to change the kitty litter. Small victory! ;o)

Additionally, we're bidding on a 2002 Eurovan on ebay. Orlando, Fl. We're a bit crazy.

Holy cow.

I had lunch with niece Anna today. I ran into her and her mom in the parking lot, leaving school, and we did impromptu lunch. It was nice.

And the contractor came over this morning to talk about finishing the living room. That happens, Nino gets his bedroom back, and the interior of the house is done. I can't wait.

And I'm all hyped up about making training pants. It's sad. I'm going nuts buying scraps on ebay.

My $5 into the super bowl pool paid off. Hooray. I'm $75 (well, net $70) richer today.

Had a fun weekend. It was nice enough to go outside a few times, so we did. Hubby had an employee quit which had us in a swell mood for a few days. Ugh.

This weekend is Kate's going-away party. Sad reason to get together, but I'll be glad to see the gang again. It was almost a year ago I went there for the first time.

Super weekend all around. It was warmer than it has been, so we've been able to get outside and get some fresh air. Nino has been having some dreams, so he wakes at 4 am saying "I don't like that". Poor bean.

He also tried nursing this morning. I know that there's not much there. He tried for about a second on righty and said "momma, I all done with that one". I think he just wants to keep his options open.

He has a new patriots sweatsuit. He's going to wear it as much as possible for the next several days.

We finally have Nino to the point where we can lay him down in his crib and he sleeps through. Two long years later. He hasn't been in our bed in two weeks, and it's working great for us, and is great for the weaning process.

So dh got home right at bedtime last night and hadn't seen Nino at all so he decided he needed to come in our bed. Never.Again. I slept poorly with my boobs being grabbed for 4 hours, all of us being prodded and kicked, when I stuck boy in his crib (I asked T to do it earlier, rrg) and we all got some much needed rest. It was 2:30 am, I'm finally settling boy in, and cursing my husband.

Anyhoo, at least this morning when I told T that was no longer an option, he totally understood. Tonight will be better.

I had a very vivid weird dream last night, where I took a pregnancy test, and instead of 1 or 2 lines, there were 3 or 4. But it was unclear, even then, if I was pregnant.

Last week I brought 2 plants into work. John told me that the cactus was dead. No hope.

Well phhhbbbbbtttt to him. It's coming back. I rule. The other one, I had more hope for and it's looking great. Not great actually, but better.

At some point, my son started sleeping in his crib all night. I'm so excited, but it marks a sad stage. He's a little boy now. I'm starting to transition him to a toddler bed, so he now sleeps with the crib side down. My big boy. He slept until 9:30 Sunday morning. That was delicious.

The patriots are going to the super bowl again. It's exciting, and I'm sending Nino's little Pats sweatsuit to cousin Sophia for her use on the big day.

I also had my first weigh in today. Down 3.6 lb. I'm so excited. It's inspirational. I hope I can keep it up. My goal is 10 lb by B's wedding.

Yesterday, I was with a friend in the lingerie department of Filenes, and G was in his stroller, and said "buy those boobies, momma!!" Loud enough for all to hear. I lost it.

Or this morning, I told him this was a new shirt from B (my friend who gave it to him yesterday, he unwrapped it), he said "more presents please momma".

And last night he looked at me from his backseat and was holding his cup up and said "I gonna throw this" and then he did. I lost it.

He also now goes a day here and there without nursing. He hasn't even asked since 6 am yesterday. I'm glad he's doing it on his own, but still. :(

He's also a bloody genius. This weekend he opened his madeline book to the "smiled at the good" page and said "frown at bad".

And I signed up for WW online today. I did it not that long ago, but I'm really ready. I need to be. I weighed in yesterday and wanted to cry.

I'm so happy that this is a long weekend. It's hard to come back full-on after vacation with the boy.

We've really been connecting lately. So I haven't gone to the gym as much or gotten as much laundry done. Poo. My son tells me he loves me all the time and laughs more than I'd ever imagined.

We're having great sleep success lately. He tells me when he's tired, we read a book or something, and he naps or sleeps. In his bed. I bought the toddler bed conversion kit, but I'm not going to do that until he's got a good pattern. I don't need him walking over to me at 3 am. I'm just so lucky that I got to enjoy 2 years of him in the bed, most of the time, without any long-term effects.

Relatively nice weekend here. Dull and nice. Friday playgroup mom announced her pregnancy. Insanely jealous, yet very happy for her. I know that I don't *really* want it to happen for a few months, but you know . .

Not to mention today I found out it's not happening this month.

We got a bunch of snow. Nino loved it. He loves to be outside, help daddy clean up, all that. He gets mad when it gets in his eyes. He was on daddy's back in the backpack (aka "pack-pack") and yelled at it. Picture it please, hand up in "stop" position, saying "no snow no. Momma, snow booooothering me". He's a godforsaken riot.

But we were all feeling a bit punky. Stomach bug of some sort. Not fun. It put a bit of a kink in our weekend. Yesterday we were all slugs. It was kind of nice. Wish I could do the same again today.

I'm having a pity party. Please join me. 2004 was going to be the year I finished my exams. I had 2 remaining. One whole year and I didn't even take one until December. And failed it, it seems. 2004 was going to be the year I lost the weight. Here it is 2005 and I'm still a sow.

The upshot to this is that 2005 *will* be the year. I can take prep courses and both exams before my 30th birthday. That's my new goal. And I just want to lose some weight before I get pregnant again, but the amount isn't as important.

I'm allowing myself this pity party and that's that. I had lots of chocolate yesterday, and ate fast food for the first time in months. But I didn't even let myself order the big "value" meal. I must be getting old.

Back at work after 10 days off. It's been a long day.